Big Damn Heroes

Episode 10: Looking at the Boat

Fixing the Boat...still...

Stole—BORROWED by Jin, from the personal journal of Ur-gyse

Day 2578:

Boat still broke. Got drunk. Was fun. Miss those pirate adventurererers. They had good grog.

Went out to look for trouble, so trouble wouldn’t find us. Killed some gnolls. Nolls? Nowls? Taste dusty.

Nowls had map to find Emerald Claw guys. Went to go kill them. Maybe they have some grog.

Found them already dead. Found an undead thing. Slept a little in the corner. Got woken up when we went back to boat.

Captain looks sad. Keeps saying, “there’s a lick on the boat.” Confused. I don’t see any ice cream.

( strange scrawl that may or may not be a signature )

As read in Jin’s journal:

Today was a marvelous day!

Sure, it started poorly as we ran into some mangy dogmen. Gnolls, I think they were called? Whatever they were, they were hungry and unpleasant, and once again, I was victim to the universe’s cruel whimsy as they assaulted me. Well, not me personally. I mean, Oak took most of the beatings. But at least he doesn’t have to smell them – it was truly awful, a stench like the waste chamber after Dok’s done with it.

After I defeated the gnolls (with the help of the others, of course), I found a journal which pointed us to the tomb of another of the dead Captains who traveled with the late Captain Lazharr. Eager to find out if all of her Captains were bards, I pointed out to the crew that if we went, there was a good chance we could find treasure. They were not entirely impressed, until I further pointed out there was a deadline – the Emerald Claw had nearly beaten us to the first of these tombs that we’d heard of, and as we spoke they might have been homing in on the second. That got those lazy guys to move their legs.

Inside the tomb were, of course, undead, because the number of tombs not filled with the ravenous dead in Khorvarre must be near or equal to zero. This was to our advantage, for once, as the murderous undead had managed to keep the pesky Emerald Claw from making off with my – our – treasure. With ease I polished off the undead (again, with the help of the crew), and we went into the next room, where we encountered the most pleasant lich I have ever met. Well, the only lich I’ve ever met, but that’s a minor detail. It turns out that she found a song to sing which made her immortal, and now she’s been sitting in her tomb hoping for adventurers to stop by so she could trade questions with them. We exchanged information, which was quite pleasant, and then I convinced her that if she wanted to know about the world, she had best come with us so she could experience it herself. She agreed, and offered all of her material goods in her tomb as payment – quite nice! M’lady gave me an amulet to which her awareness was tied, and then she crumbled into dust – apparently she can have a body whenever she would like, but she feels no requirement to maintain one.

Truly, once again, the day had been saved by Jin.


Hey, I’m on a boat! \ Motherfucker look at me! \ I’m on a boat, yo! \

Episode 10: Looking at the Boat

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