Big Damn Heroes

S2, Episode One

Trish gives us a job...

Sometime during the day about a year and a half after the crew scattered across the face of Eberron, the G.E.M.s lit up. Trish’s voice sounded into the minds of those who owned them. At first it appeared that she was testing it, then she expressed her meaning. She had modified the G.E.M.s to send messages to each other, though she hadn’t quite figured out how to get them to respond back. After requested a responding pulse from each person’s G.E.M., Trish explained that she had a job for the crew. With no idea of how far away everyone had spread, she just set a return date; everyone was to meet up again in six months at a cafe in Sharn. With acknowledgments from everyone, even if it was somewhat reluctant on Jin’s part, she cheerfully signed off.

Six months later, the group slowly reassembled. Illeith’atharia and Viola arrived early. The avenger’s new bat wings were wrapped around her like a cloak, and the flesh golem girl’s face was painted a uniform color. Shroeder arrived fresh from school; eye patch donned and bull whip in hand. Oak came outfitted in newly tanned black wolf pelts, accompanied by Ur-gyse the herb smoking wolf. Lemesh wandered up looking much the same as he did when he left. Jin the Jungle Drow was the last to arrive; completely outfitted in new, and more authentic, war-like accessories. He was even righteously outraged about the warforged oppression of his people…until Illeith’atharia pointed out that he’s not actually a Drow. (Jin: “Oh. Right. Nevermind.”)

While Jin and Oak exchanged stories and half-arguments, Lemesh and Illeith’atharia exchanged (somewhat edited) planar visions.

After some catching up, Trisha arrived and explained the situation. It seems she has a project that she’s working on, but she’s missing a few things. Even though she’s working with House Cannith now, apparently they only give access to certain things after members have spent a great deal of time in the House. Trish was anxious to continue with her project now. She asked the group to travel back into the Mournlands and ransack Making; the previous seat of House Cannith. The G.E.M.s, she explained, made the group uniquely suited for this endeavor, as everyone who had one would be immune to the accelerated decay the Mournlands caused. When the group asked what she was working on, she refused to say; though she did mention that it was awesome. Lemesh expressed a little bit of worry about the mysterious nature of this request, but Illeith’atharia reassured him.

Before the group left on the lightning rail, the group talked a bit about possible implications of the visions about the Planes. Jin also asked if anyone had found out anything more about the Queen of Death. Illeith’atharia promptly avoided the question by spending the next few minutes wishing Viola goodbye; Trish offered to take care of her while the group was out.

Shortly thereafter, the group was safely on the train. The first day’s travel passed relatively uneventfully. Shroeder kept herself and Jin amused by shooting lightning out the window. It didn’t take long for the train employees to request that to stop, after which Lemesh and Oak took turn distracting Jin. The second day also passed fairly uneventfully, though at this point Jin and Shroeder took to pranking the other passengers on the train. Again, it was only a short time before the train employees put a stop to this as well and Lemesh and Oak were left coming up with ways to entertain the duo.

The third day was when the other shoe dropped. Throughout the morning, cloaked individuals began filtering in the seats close to the party. As they gathered, Lemesh and Illeith’atharia began to exchange mental odds with each other. The odds were established that the group about to attack them had a 30% chance of being Lemesh’s fault, a 30% chance of being Illeith’atharia’s fault, and a 40% chance of being Jin’s fault. The odds were slightly adjusted to add in 1% – 5% for everyone else. Lemesh bet Illeith’atharia that this particular incident was Jin’s fault, while Illeith’atharia bet that it was her’s. Lemesh also bet her that Jin would kill-steal her.

As they sealed the deal with a nod, the group of cloaked individuals attacked. Despite having his head stuck out the window, Ur-gyse still managed to get the drop on the group. Regardless, three of the cloaked elven assassins moved in and managed to drop Jin before anyone else had time to act. As the fire fight began in earnest, Lemesh cheerfully declared victory in his bet. The first person to kill-steal from Illeith’atharia turned out to be Ur-gyse though, so the bet was declared a tie; each person owed the other a drink.

As the fight progressed, several interesting new facts about the group came up. Ur-gyse appeared to have a staff that could shoot humming birds, and Jin mimic-ed Shroeder so well he started to cast her (new and improved) sorceress magic. Lemesh’s eyes faded to solid blue and he flooded the train car with blue holy light, while Illeith’atharia unfurled her bat wings and trailed shadows. Oak simply seemed much much harder to hit than he once once. Rowen, who had accompanied the group, spent the fight attempting to protect the one other passenger in the train car who wasn’t attacking the group and who also didn’t have a chance to flee screaming.

As the newly reformed crew were tying up the one surviving elf that attacked them, another two groups entered on either side of the car. They were from the Emerald Claw; it seems they walked in to investigate the disturbance. The head of the group walked in, started to ask what was going on, saw the Priceless Cultural Artifacts that Jin was wearing, and promptly attacked the group. Illeith’atharia conceded that she owed Lemesh another drink. As the fighting continued, it was decided that the drinks should be distributed in succession.

After another heated battle, all of the Emerald Claw were killed and the group paused to rest again. Jin found another Priceless Cultural Artifact on their corpses to add to his growing collection…


We move upon the lightning rail, a wondering where we’re goin’

We wait and prank and steal our way, oh off into the Mournland.

And out among the seats near by, the elves they are attacking,

And Emerald Claw do jump on in, for priceless trinkets lacking.

Oh ah one and a twenty dead men.

OH! One and a twenty dead men.

S2, Episode One

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