Big Damn Heroes

Season Two: OVA 3

Adventures of Jin: Jungle Drow...

((Once again, remembered to the best of my ability…))

Knowing that his number was up if he stayed in Sharn, Jin went to discover his rich cultural roots…in Xen’drik…with the drow. Disguised as ‘Mixie’ the drow barbarian, Jin made his way to the jungles in the south. Upon arriving in Stormreach, he quickly put his master plan into effect…

He began wandering in the jungle, hoping to stumble across some drow. Mostly he stumbled across vicious vicious jungle creatures that wanted to kill and eat him. He loudly and valiantly (sometimes barely) fended them off, hoping to impress any drow that might be watching with how warlike he was. Eventually he did run into a raiding party; this particular group belonged to the Vulkoor.

Being the loyal minion of the Traveler that he is, Jin explained to them how he used to live in Xen’drik. But a long time ago, his parent’s raiding party was attacked by adventurers; everyone else was killed, but he was shipped off to the north as a curiosity. He was raised in the northern lands, but always wanted to return home. Eventually he slipped his bonds and murdered his way back to his people.

The drow bought it; hook, line, and sinker.

‘Mixie’ was taken back ‘home’ and soon became a regular part of the raiding parties. The Vulkoor taught ‘her’ all about their rich cultural heritage, and soon Jin found himself leading raiding parties into the jungle.

After a year or so of this sort of thing happening (time flows weird in Xen’drik), Jin’s raiding party came across a lone wanderer in the woods. The man was unarmed and carried a rather obvious sack of gold. As he casually strolled through the wild growth, he occasionally glanced around…and just happened to look over spots where drow were hiding. Occasionally the man would bemoan how lost he was; pleas that left Jincompletely unconvinced. Even though Jin sensed this might be a trap, he ordered the drow to attack. They quickly took the man captive. The whole time, Jin couldn’t help but think this guy was allowing himself to be caught. Before he was gagged, the man mentioned something about his family paying very well to see him back home safely.

They took the man to their camp, and Jin began interrogating him…sort of. Using his supreme command of innuendo, he really began questioning the man about what exactly was going on. The stranger caught on immediately, and was happy to play along. The conversation went something like this:

“Tell me the name of your family, or I will feed you to dragons!” Ok, who are you? Are you a dragon?

“Oh god no! Please! Why would you do that to a poor wanderer!” (sense of amusement) No. I’m just a wanderer.

“Tell me now or I start cutting off fingers!” Why are you really here?

“Oh please, don’t hurt me! My family’s name is Lamont! I was just out for a little vacation and I got lost! Please, I don’t want any trouble!” Meh, I thought it might be fun

“You got trouble the moment you wandered through our jungle; it’s only fair we should take a little tax on your wandering.” Alright, I guess that’s fair.

“Ah Gods! You’re cruel! What are you going to do with me?” What about you? Why are you here?

“This little vacation spot is our home, and we’re protecting it from stupid travelers like yourself. You thought you could just stop around through our beautiful forest and get out with out reprisal? FOOL!” Pretty much the same thing. They guys are fun to scam. You’re gonna sneak out sometime in the night, aren’t you.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!” Yeah, pretty much.

“You’re not sorry! You just thought we wouldn’t catch you!” Yeah, that’s what I would do too.

“Please, what are you going to do with me now? I don’t want to die! My family will pay for my safety!” You know, this is a nice set up you got runnin’ here; but really, you’re thinkin’ too small.

“Is that so? Well about how much would they pay?” What do you mean?

“The finest of clothing and jewelry, anything a noble family might have, or anything you might want! I bet you need more than just goods, what about services? Servants to do your labor for you maybe? Anything you want, just please don’t hurt me!” Well, you’re already stealing their faces and their heritage, why not steal their abilities too?

“Servants you say? That has some appeal…” You can DO that?!

“Oh yes, just please don’t kill me!” Un huh.

“Where is your family located? I’ll ring every last copper piece out of them!!” How do I get started?

“I’ll tell you everything you need to know! Oh God, my poor family!” Just got to practice.

The conversation continued for a while, and in the end the stranger did disappear in the middle of the night. He did leave a pot of gold behind when he left, much to the confusion of the rest of the drow. With the new idea planted in his head, Jin spent the next year or two working out how to steal abilities from his drow raiding party. Eventually he got the hang of it. He was just starting to pick up the knack for the drow boomerang when Trish called everyone home…


If rape and poison, dagger and burning,

Have still not embroidered their pleasant designs

On the banal canvas of our pitiable destinies,

It’s because our souls, alas, are not bold enough!

Season Two: OVA 3

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